Major League Baseball is dying a long, slow and painful death. The average length of a game is now nearly 4 hours long. In a world where the next generation is obsessed with an app with 30 second videos and gifs…..or is it jifs?…..anyway, where the next brood of baseball fans have no interest investing that amount of time, it’s no wonder why ratings are down across the board for the sport. Ideas such as a ‘pitch clock’, starting a runner at second base in extra innings and having a Universal Designated Hitter have been tossed around, tested and implemented. But nothing is changing.

Know what would get people interested in Baseball again? Joe. Kelly. JUSTICE.

On July 29th, Kelly’s team was playing a series against the Houston Astros. Houston, if you are unaware, has been surrounded in controversy the past couple years due to a sign stealing scandal where punishment was leveled against management and staff but no players. It is viewed that the Astros stole signs and in turn, stole a World Series from…….Kelly’s Dodgers. Even though Mean Joe was not part of either team during this scandal, it seems he has taken exception to it. So, he took matters into his own hands.

Kelly threw at Houston players Alex Bergman and Carlos Correa. Correa didnt like it and started to puff out his chest. Some trash talking ensued players met on the field and yelled at each other. Nobody was actually hit.

 No harm, no foul, right?

Wrong. MLB handed Kelly an 8 game suspension. 8 games in a 60 game schedule is equivalent to a 22 game suspension in a ‘normal’ season. TWENTY-TWO GAMES. That’s insane. And it turns out that MLB has admitted that 8 games was too much. So, today, it was reduced to an ‘appropriate’ 5 game suspension. 

How does Joe Kelly celebrate his reduced sentence? by going on ‘The Big Swing’ podcast and absolutely destroying Houston. Kelly called the players ‘snitches’ and ‘rats. He accused the players of not taking responsibility for the cheating scandal and letting executives and staff of the franchise take the fall. Kelly is responsible for throwing the ball, sure. Oh, and for swearing at the Astros. But, he didn’t make the Astros players walk onto the field. He didn’t force their manager to swear and walk on the field either. Correa spit at the Dodgers players when the benches cleared. Manager Dusty Baker told Kelly to ‘get your skinny (expletive) on the mound ‘. But, Joe Kelly gets the 8 game suspension?

In a sport that is dying, a sport that needs some sort of spark of interest rather than seeing what team has a week off because COVID-19 is running through the clubhouse like a wildfire, they need Joe Kelly. They need Joe Kelly to pitch every single game the Dodgers play against the Astros.

 MLB needs Joe. Kelly. JUSTICE.

Written by: DJ Parker